


Ambiguity

by RyanWantsMilk



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: F/M, FTM, Hurt/Comfort, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Sexual Content, hermaphrodite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-01-23 01:29:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12495400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyanWantsMilk/pseuds/RyanWantsMilk
Summary: Tyler is intersexual and pregnant.Josh doesn't know what this entails.





	Ambiguity

**Author's Note:**

> I know nothing about intersexuals, nor do I know anything about pregnancy.  
> Based on a real conversation I had with someone.  
> Here goes.

"So..." Josh begins. He absentmindedly picks at a hangnail, bringing it up to his teeth to bite off. "You are-"

"Pregnant." Tyler blurts out, sighing heavily and turning over on his side. "Yes, Josh. I am _carrying a child._ "

"No, no. That's not it." Josh scratches his head and stares down at his finger from which blood is slowly seeping up from under his fingernail. He sucks the blood. "You are... A female."

This earns him a dramatic sigh and eye roll from Tyler. He splays out on the bed and wedges a pillow under his stomach. 

"You are also partially male as well." Josh adds, squinting some before putting his finger back in his mouth.

"Intersexual." Tyler amends with a heavy sigh. He closes his eyes.

Josh clenches his jaw. He knows he's overstepping his boundaries, but his curiosity gets the better of him. He persists. "Your family is pushing for female?" He hopes Tyler won't snap.

"Listen Josh, it's just as confusing to me as it is for you. The way I was born I was gender-ambiguous. I don't even know what my body is doing, ok? I really don't want to talk about it." Tyler says, wincing a little from a cramp in his side. He sits up and holds the pillow to his chest. He stares at the beige wall.

"I know, I know. Sorry." Josh breathes. He grabs a band-aid out of his bedside drawer and fixes up his finger.

"It's ok." Tyler says softly. "Most people get curious."

"I didn't intend to make you uncomfortable though." Josh shrugs, patting down the gauze. "But you do prefer male pronouns?"

"Yes." Tyler sits with his back against the headboard. "One day I hope to get it sorted out."

 

******

 

The reddish-brown dog shits for the third time on this fifteen minute walk. Tyler isn't in the least exasperated.

Josh volunteers to do the duty this time and clean up after the neurotic mutt. On his other arm he holds onto a Husky, and Australian Shepherd, a Lab-Retriever mix, and a Dachshund. Tyler has the mutt, a Chihuahua, and German Shepherd twins.

They've already used up five shitbags and the dogs have pissed only a thousand times. This is only a side-job for the weekends.

Tyler is working hard on conquering his fear of dogs. Josh is supportive.

"That one really craps a lot." Tyler observes.

"Reminds me of someone I know?" Josh teases as he discards the poop bags. 

Tyler smirks and gives him a gentle shove. The twin German Shepherds tug at his arm, but he stands his ground.

"We should get a dog of our own." Josh comments as they lead the dogs to the park. "It'd be nice to have a pet."

Tyler shakes his head, patting his five-week gestating belly. "It's a bit late for that."

Josh nods and doesn't say a word.

 

******

 

The leaf crunches under his shoe. It was a softer shade of crimson, the dry leaf that cracked under Josh's shoe. It gets ground up into flakes before the wind blows it away, along with the other golden, brown, and crimson leaves. It's cloudy and cold with an 85% chance of precipitation.

Autumn is beginning.

Tyler sips on a decaf pumpkin spice latte as they sit on the curb. Josh just has a coffee.

It's sweater weather. Josh is sufficiently bundled up, scarf and all. Tyler's body heat is out of whack, he only wants his knit jumper.

"Is it painful?" Josh asks softly, taking a sip of coffee. A gust of wind hits the side of his face, blowing his fringe and making his eyes feel dry. He squints at Tyler.

"Sometimes." Tyler holds his drink close to his chest to keep warm. He shivers some. He cuddles into Josh. "It's mostly nausea."

Yes, Tyler's nausea has been progressively worsening. That morning he could barely even look at two scrambled eggs without feeling sick.

"Are you scared?" Josh inquires. He puts his arm around Tyler.

There's a moment of silence between them.

"I want some cookies." Tyler says. He takes a sip of his latte and sits up a little straighter. "Let's bake some."

Who would Josh be to refuse?

 

******

 

Tyler shudders and groans. He drags his nails down Josh's back. He moans, he gasps, he's fucking _ecstatic._

"Gahhh, oh baby..." His face screws up and he arches his back. He's melting into Josh's embrace.

"You like that?" Josh pants, watching Tyler's face as he twists his fingers. Tyler mewls. "Feels ok?"

"Yeah yeah, just- _nnngh_  -just like that, Josh." Tyler bites down on his lip, suppressing his intense pleasure noises.

Josh has his fingers deep in Tyler's tight, wet, _throbbing_ boypussy. 

They've been dying to do this for weeks.

At some time or another, the clothes were going to have to come off.

The tension finally broke.

"Josh, Josh, _p-please._ " Tyler whined, baring down at the two or three fingers Josh was thrusting in and out of him. He was close.

Josh sped up, pressing his thumb against Tyler's clit, rubbing at an offbeat pace.

Tyler keened and whined. He made noises that would surely be condemned in any place that was holy.

"A-almost t-th-there." Tyler gasped out. He nearly choked as Josh shoved his fingers in knuckle-deep.

Tyler had given him a blowjob first. He was simply returning the favor.

Josh shifted a little to allow Tyler to squirm some more and guide his hand to just the right angle.

Tyler finally shuddered and climaxed.

Josh could feel Tyler clench and release on his fingers. It got a little wet and soggy down there, the moisture had accumulated over the period of the session.

Tyler moaned and gasped before finally coming down from his climax. He pushed away Josh's hand because he was just too sensitive.

"Good?" Josh murmured softly.

"Great." Tyler sighed.

There were stars in his eyes.

 

******

 

The small blots on the paper wouldn't make much sense unless you knew what you were looking for.

To Josh it might as well have been a zoomed in X-Ray of a jellybean.

It wouldn't be entirely out of the question. Tyler _did_ have some jellybeans before they came.

But the image was definitely not of a jellybean.

"Boy or girl?" Josh inquires. He's peering over Tyler's shoulder.

"Too soon to tell."

Tyler sucks happily on a pumpkin lolly. He stares at the ultrasound once more before delicately tucking it away in his pocket. He looks a little more alive now that he knows there is definitely a real human growing inside him.

The notion is frightening, but also thrilling.

"Do you want a boy or a girl more?" Josh inquires.

Tyler is intersexual, this much is true. So there is a possibility that to child could also come out ambiguous. Then again, it might not.

"I'm indifferent." Tyler mutters with his mouthful of candy. "No matter what I get, I'll love it the same."

"And you want this?"

Tyler's face glows. He's practically radiating excitement.

"Does it need saying?"

Josh hopes that one day he'll understand it.

Spoiler: _he never will_.

 

****** 

 

Tyler's been in aches and pains all day.

One moment he wants to stuff his face with Eggos, the next moment he's crying because the TV won't work (Josh fixes it, but Tyler still cries), then he's curled up with the body pillow making unholy noises with none of the pleasure to accompany it.

Josh really should be given an award for putting up with the peculiar, irrational behaviour.

It can all be blamed on the hormones. Josh wonders if any of this is simply bullshit. It's most likely a mix of both.

Tyler's been puking since three in the morning.

Josh sits on the bathroom mat beside his companion. He rubs Tyler's bulging vertebrae and reminds him to drink water.

Tyler shakes. 

"It feels like menstrual cramps," Tyler relates. "I'm almost scared that I'll actually start bleeding."

"Can that happen when you're pregnant?" Josh inquires.

Tyler takes a few sips of the electrolyte water.

"I feel like I'm dying."

 

******

 

It happens at 10:00 a.m.

Tyler's nausea had passed and his shivers had stopped.

Josh had run a warm bath upon his request and fed him pancakes straight out of the box.

As you'd do.

Tyler knew something was wrong. Another one of his premonitions, perhaps.

Something in the water looked a little off. 

Josh knew. He didn't need to say it, they both just knew.

Tyler reached down into the water, hardly even breathing as he drew his hand back and stared into his palm.

It was the size of a bean. It was a dark red rust colour, like a clot.

The clot of cells together _looked_ like a small bean. The shape of the head in distinction to the body was unmistakeable.

They both just stared silently at it. Not a word was spoken for some time between the two.

Josh put his arm around Tyler and they nuzzled close to eachother.

Tyler closed his hands.

They cried.

 

******

 

Tyler's trying to convince himself it didn't happen.

He stares and stares at the mirror. He runs his hands over his pale belly. 

He'd be in second trimester by now.

 _"It will show soon,"_ Tyler tries to convince himself. _"You're just skinny, the baby must be small too. It will show soon."_

Soon, soon, soon.

It doesn't matter how much Tyler eats at this point, he's not getting any bigger. Some days he'd eat and eat until he was so sick he could barely even move.

Josh knows Tyler's torturing himself and _"No, Tyler, you didn't screw up,"_ and _"It wasn't your fault, it's ok. I still love you. It's ok."_

"It's not ok." Tyler breathes. 

He runs his hands once more over his stomach before pulling back down his shirt.

No baby. No child. No sweet little boy with messy hair and grass-stained clothes for Josh to love. No sweet little girl to scatter barbies across the room and smudge eyeliner all over her face, leaving Tyler to still adore her anyway. No baby. No child.

Josh also feels as if he had failed his duties as Tyler's boyfriend.

Maybe the sex had been a bit rough? Maybe he shouldn't have let Tyler eat sushi that one time? Maybe Josh could've been more considerate?

It wasn't his baby.

Yet, he still carries the same guilt.

 

******

 

Josh holds the puppy close to his chest, keeping her from squirming out of his arms.

"She looks like she wants to play." Tyler mentions, albeit shy.

"Your type of dog." Josh bares his pearly white teeth. His eyes crinkle a bit as he smiles.

Tyler always found it to be endearing.

The small blue-eyed husky puppy bites Josh's nose. Tyler laughs at the face he makes.

"I think she likes you better." 

"Hold her." Josh passes the pup over to Tyler.

Flustered, Tyler takes her into his arms. The pup relaxes and noses at his neck. It tickles.

"It's a start?" Josh suggests.

"It's a start."

Someday Tyler will forgive himself.

The only way to carry on is to move forward.

Josh knows that.

It's kind of a learned thing.

"What should we name her?" Josh asks softly. He runs his hand through the pup's fuzzy coat.

Tyler holds up the husky pup, staring into her eyes. "Ruby." 

"Ruby it is, then."

"And she's _ours_."

Tyler smiles for the first time in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe it took me two months to write this thing what.  
> Input is much appreciated.


End file.
